That Day You Walked Into My Room & I Was Naked & You Said You Didn’t Really Mind But Now It’s 20 Years Later & You Say That Actually You Find My Lack of Body Hair Unnerving & The Tattoo On My Back Has Dispirited Your Clitoris

I was a fastidious otter without a towel, prey.
You were a judgmental eagle, predator.
Two decades of gestating revulsion and two children later,
You are finally about to make a meal of me.

I have fair hair, I am not a “bald, freakish twat”!
I got the tattoo when Lighthouse Family were cool!
You could have said something.

I was completely exposed in my towel, I was moisturising.
My back rippled as Tunde Baiyewu mouthed Ocean Drive.
You should have said something.

You got the kids and the house, clever fox.
I got the CD collection and diagnosed with ‘Adonis Complex’, forlorn rabbit.
Twenty years gone and two copies of ‘Falling Into You’ later,
I have been consumed.

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