Fifty Shades of Grey

I haven’t read it, thought I’d say that first off in case you thought this would be relevant. I haven’t read a single word of it but I must say I’m pleased it exists.

I work in an office where this book is the current ‘Lady Chatterly’s Lover’ being passed discreetly between mums, divorcees, managers, postmen and salivating 17 year old boys. Every week most of my daily routine is punctuated by sadly one-dimensional appraisals of TV shows which most of the time I have no intention of watching. I feel trapped by my own stuck-up desire to enjoy things I want to enjoy what I do and not sniff around the coat-tails of entertainment I know I won’t like. TOWIE fits into this category perfectly. I have no desire to watch this in the same way the majority of the population have no desire to listen to Sufjan Stevens’ ‘The Age of Adz’ on CD, MP3, Online & Vinyl to see which provides the best experience (I have done this and as always Vinyl does provide you with an unimaginably superior listening experience). I don’t force this onto anyone else at work as I know it’s a personal thing that holds little excitement for them so why do I have to endure word for word replays of Britain’s Got Talent?

I have no hate for mainstream culture, it is what it is and like the title of the book it’s just made up of a lot of grey areas. I’m not into Rihanna or Kasabian, not because they’re mainstream but because their music grates on me like  a condom made of sandpaper. In the same way there are people who view my enjoyment of Jurassic 5 and Neutral Milk Hotel as positively mainstream and they judge my music whilst they listen to Onehotronix Point Never or some similar pre-drone, blimp-core and read self published comics. Mainstream is always relative and almost certainly always irrelevant, it’s only if you’re trying to be trendy that the words mainstream, alternative or muso actually mean anything.  

What I’m trying to say is that for once it’s quite nice to hear sadly one-dimensional appraisals of books & sexual practices rather than generic reality TV shows and fascist Channel 4 exposes of “shocking” lifestyles. I’m not shunning Fiddy Shades of Grey because it’s popular, I just don’t have any urge to read it. 

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