I think you were the girl I was sick on

I Think You Were The Girl I Was Sick On

I Think You Were The Girl I Was Sick On

We were at a party and you were wearing spangles,

It was the 90’s.

I was wearing a tie die t-shirt and Spliffy Jeans

My Slamming Vinyl record bag brimmed with CD’s,

I could tell you thought I was cool.

1 – 0 to me

I approached the turntables and realised they were for vinyl

I asked the man with dreads if they had a CD Hi-Fi, possibly a Pioneer one?

He chuckled and passed me an oversized marijuana cigarette

I began to perspire as the 12″ record was reaching it’s end.

Free Kick to the Away team

The song ‘Salva Mea’ by Faithless started to fade out, I panicked,

I hit the stylus and the resulting crunch meant everyone was focused on me,

I thought about putting the B-Side on but it was rubbish!

So I started to sing…very slowly I made my way through ‘Ebeneezer Goode’.

One All

As the skunk kicked in I began to feel dizzy and launched into ‘Doin’ the Do’ by Betty Boo,

I followed that with ‘Motown Philly’ and ‘No Good Start The Dance’, all acapella.

Throughout my “set” you stared at me like I was Screech from Saved by the Bell

I couldn’t stop now, not until the final song, ‘Around the World’ by Daft Punk

2 – 1 to me, the crowd went wild.

I stumbled through the party in a dishevelled haze feeling queazy,

Like a bewildered newt who fell down the plughole but went onto win the race.

I was given celebratory shots and even had my photo taken with a drug dealer!

I couldn’t find you anywhere, you were playing nigh impossible to get.

2 – 2 to the girl with The Bangles t-shirt

Your friends said you’d gone upstairs, I followed sheepishly going pale

I found some strange happenings in the bedrooms but you were invisible.

I decided to try the bathroom and found you with a bottle of Diamond White,

You looked at me as if I was Armand Van Helden or Keith Sweat.

Penalty shoot out, and I’m holding all the balls

We were at a party

You were wearing your hair in a side ponytail

I held your hair back as you vomited in the toilet

Unfortunately I was sick too and drenched the back of your head with Pop Tart chunks,

I could tell you thought I was cool.

Game, Set & Match!

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